I have a gripe

This is aimed at parents of children that have big families.

1. Child #4,5,6,7...12 is just as special and important as child number 1. Go see them as a baby. Mom needs just as much love and support as the first time. Yes, she chose to have that baby, but that doesn't excuse you from having common decency. And buy/bring a gift, just like you did for the first one.

2. We don't have lots of kids to make you happy or unhappy. We do it because we love them. Any happiness that they bring you is a bonus. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't treasure them.

3. Yes, we know what causes it. That doesn't mean that it's any of your business how often we do that certain thing, and if we're trying to avoid a pregnancy.

4. Just because I don't feel good, doesn't mean I'm pregnant.

5. And the right response when you ask me the above question under those circumstances, and the answer is no, isn't "Thank God". Manners - remember your mom did her best to instill them in you?

6. We try out best to love you. But nothing discourages us showing that love more than you questioning and criticizing the size of my family.

7. Please don't complain how much my choice in family size costs you at Christmas. It's tacky. My kids don't care. Don't you think it's expensive for me too? Do what you can. It's ok.

8. When I tell you I'm pregnant, the correct response is Congratulations. If anything else comes out of your mouth, it should be all positive. If there's nothing positive for you to say, remember the manners your mother taught you. And then lie. It will do wonders for the relationship we have.

9. There's no rule that you have to spend time with all the kids at the same time. My kids DO notice when you spend time with their cousins, but not with them. If you can't handle all of them, that's fine, there's days I can't either. But take 1 or 2 at a time. Make that effort please. They'll notice, and so will I.

10. I'm not crazy. Please don't tell your friends, or strangers that I am. It makes you look bad. Remember - you raised me.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I only have 5 and I completely know what you're talking about. I didn't even want to tell anyone about #5 because I didn't want to catch all the crap about it. I wish more people would edit what comes out of their mouth. Many hugs to you! ~lemonsong
Clane said…
My mother does all of those things and we have three children. It annoys me to no end.
Belinda said…
I absolutely agree wih you! I have 7 children, ages 2 to 4 months, and go to nursing school. I hear all the time about how I should stop having children, and how can they possibly get the proper attention needed. It is so annoying! I love each child the same, and they each have their own personal qualities that I adore. I would never trade my life for an easier one, I was born to be a "Mom of Many." Thank you. You have really made my day! :)

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