Sometimes I scare myself - maybe I am crazy

Eric (my husband for those of you that don't know) and I were talking this evening as we sit on the computer and all the kids are in bed. I asked him what he was doing, he said checking the news (crap - we missed the shuttle launch!). I mentioned a motorcycle accident that I had heard about earlier today, and asked if he had heard about. I tend to be on the paranoid side, and he rides a motorcycle to and from work everyday. So hearing about accidents makes me a bit nervous. I also tend to obsess a bit. Just a bit.

So, we start discussing what the other would do if something happened to one of us. And it hits me, if something happened to him, we couldn't have any more babies. Getting pregnant again is something I'm really looking forward to in the next year. It's almost killing me to wait, but I need to for a couple reasons. Being able to nurse Kian for a full year at least is the biggest one.

So, we joke around saying I could use a sperm donor. But I like having his babies. Not some random guy's. I tell him that I'm going to keep him on life support until I can harvest his stuff - is he ok with that? He says sure. So, I'm playing my game online, thinking a bit, and have a great revelation. We should just collect and freeze his spermies for a later date now. And then I wouldn't have to worry about it!! He laughs. I laugh. And I think I'm half serious. I ask him if he knows this - and his reply?

"Yes, and that's what scares me".

So there you have it. I scare my husband.

And for disclaimer - no, we won't be doing any of the above. And if he dies before I'm done having kids, I'm just going to have to kill him!